Economic forces are changing the way that we organize our relationships and eventually social norms will adapt in the sense that couples will be free of the constraints of traditional gender roles and other preconceptions about suitable pairings. I don't want to feel like I have to support my future husband on my paycheck, I want him to be an equal contributor. Men are providers and are supposed to be the head of the family and responsible beings. Have you in the past? Would you marry a man who makes less money than you? Beyond that, I do not really care about the amount. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Increasing female education levels, along with the narrowing of the gender wage gap, means that in the future more and more marriages will be one in which the female partner brings home most of the bacon. We're happy. As long as he could take care of himself and his bills and didn't rely on me for that, sure. By Sarah Treleaven A man who is on top of his game, a man who makes his own decisions, a man who is confident and who demands respect…and for some reason, successful men tend to have these qualities. I have a feeling my husband will feel nice to be needed by his wife and kids: both emotionally and financially. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Who is anyone to say that he must define himself in a certain way? We've got a roof, heat, food, and lots and lots of love. Heard of men who beat their wives, mistreats them or suppress their wives’ self-esteem just so they could feel superior? And really, that should be okay. Posted a similar question in AskMen ( and got many replies along the lines of "I would date a girl who made more than me but she wouldn't want to date me"... so, ladies, would you date someone who made significantly less money than you? I do not want my marriage to be a competition! In the end, you have to decide what YOU can live w/ ... My husband and I were 17 and 18 when we started dating. A new book shows the financial dynamic that statistically leads to successful relationships. He's since 'retired' to raise our son. A: There is no evidence that relationships in which the husband earns more than his wife are happier marriages. The Ugly Truth I’ve Realized From Dating A Man Who Makes Less Money Than Me. I found out that this helps me discover more about myself, keeps me on my feet, and well…I just love challenges, so not 5, not 6, not 7, but 10! From an economist’s perspective, it makes no difference who earns the highest wage — the male or female partner. Yeah, the same thing comes up with me all the time with the guys I date. View comments. Updated April 30, 2013. your comment just put me in a really good positive mood, thank you! Today, many women who are able to earn a good income might actually be better off if they married a partner who is less focused on his career; there is something to be said for having a partner whose job is flexible enough that they can do their share of work at home. If my husband is not more successful than I am, I might someday be attracted to a man who is. The Future Is Female Us Together. In other words, this is not something I just wish to do and would not mind if it didn’t happen; this, is something I plan to follow through. I had never even pondered it, I had no idea how much he made not did I care. He may even start acting all subdued and the like. In her new book, Dollars and Sex: How Economics Influences Sex and Love, economics professor Marina Adshade applies the principles of supply and demand to the world of sex and love. I refuse. My fiance has made less money than me throughout our entire 8 year relationship, except for a few months when I was unemployed. Reasons I will marry a man who earns more than me…, SOCIETY LIES #1 : The Bad Boy Real Effect, Reasons I will marry a man who earns more than me…. St. Joseph Communications uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. A man making more money than his wife, shows that he is all the above. In fact, the happiest marriages appear to be between people who are very similar to each other in a variety of different ways, including age, education and income. © Copyright 2020 St. Joseph Communications. 6. I am naturally a saver, even in the tiniest amounts, and it was our outlooks on money rather than dollar amounts that made it difficult sometimes (but it was his money so he could do what he wanted, I wasn't supporting him). Thanks for explaining so well how I feel about this! As you can see, I have reasons enough not to marry below me. Money's tight, of course, but we're good. I mean, I make 16k/yr, not sure how I could meet a dude who made less money than that. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. He and I are both fine with it. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. If my husband earns less than I do, I would be compelled to pay more bills and buy more stuff, and in the end, the kids (and myself) will depend more on me, than my husband. I want my man virile and in-charge. Entertaining. The man I love doesn’t define himself by his career; he defines himself by his relationships with those around them. When we first started dating, I was making 25k and he was making $100 a week. Inspiring. But we broke up because we were on extremely different paths in life, no matter how much we loved each other, and his new path involved moving to Denmark for grad school. Read on, then tell me if I haven’t convinced you enough. My fiance has made less money than me throughout our entire 8 year relationship, except for a few months when I was unemployed. This belief that we, as women, should marry good earners originated in an era in which men provided for women who stayed home and cared for their families. Now people marry because marriage makes it possible to both consume more goods and services, and to derive more happiness from that joint consumption. When he reappeared he came clean about the money issue. My wife and I started dating in h.s. ( Log Out /  For this reason, I will marry a man who has a bigger income than I do. I make good money, nothing crazy, but I dated one guy who very seriously suggested I "go part time." Win/win in my book. Any divorced parent can attest that raising children, as an example, is less expensive if there is one household rather than two and most will agree that sharing the experience of having children with a partner is better than doing it alone. By Sarah Treleaven Updated April 30, 2013. I would definitely not want to be in the way of my husband’s romantic- and maybe expensive- gestures. I can already picture my sweet loving- and generous- husband…. 96. 4. Where couples live, how many children they have, how household chores are divided and how often they have sex are a few of the decisions women have more say in when they have an income that is close to their husband’s. I mean how else am I supposed to feel materialistically cherished?? Have you considered third world countries? The said man will feel inferior and disrespected in public and in private. Q: Can you explain the theory that people get married as an opportunity to consume more? By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Men who earn less than their wives are more likely to have high expectations and place more responsibilities on their wives. Press J to jump to the feed. Q: Can you explain how the educational divide between men and women might influence future pairings? I trust him to be responsible with his finances, I like how ambitious and driven he is in his career, and he is motivated to build something together, which I like.

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